Happy New Year! Take a Bow! It’s Father’s Day!

The wise Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living”. To do this we must examine our actions to evaluate how we are meeting our personal ideals and goals. If you are reading this you are sure to be one who is serious about living a purposeful life, so here is a thought about Father’s Day.

Why not look at each Father’s Day as the beginning of a New Year as a dad? Take a little time out of the day to examine what you are doing as a dad and what you want to do better during the next year. Things I try to always improve on are being a good listener, being thoughtful and caring, patient and kind — being determined and focused, strong and courageous. All of these are virtues of a good dad. And none of us is perfect at them all, but we can continue to practice. Examine yourself, be kind to yourself but firm, and do this all out of love and respect for your children.

You might ask your kids, “How am I doing as your dad?” Make this a playful question and expect playful answers, but listen to what they are not saying, too. It is important to point out here, if there are any real family problems going on, Father’s Day is not the day to explore them. This is a day to show happiness and gratitude without any rancor or discord.

It is a good day to tell your kids how grateful you are to be their dad! Tell them that you love them and always try to do everything for them that is in their best interest. (Don’t be too surprised if they roll their eyes at that.) Remember you can celebrate Father’s Day only because of your kids! Once again they are at the center of this celebration and let them know it.

Finally, take a bow! It is not easy to be a good dad. A good dad is always present to his kid’s needs and concerns, and that takes its toll on a guy. A dad has to “make it up” as he goes because no one has ever faced exactly the demands he deals with daily, and that takes its toll. So as you examine how you are doing, take time to think about all the good you are doing each day — and take a bow.

Have a wonderful day Man. Happy New Year and take a bow.

Looking back and forward–the New Year

The wise Saint Augustine is known to have said something like, “we live life in the forward but understand it by looking back”.  That can be said as well of all the pieces of our lives, can’t it?

We do something and then look back upon it and sometimes smile with delight and other times cringe with embarrassment.

Although the noisemakers and fireworks are quiet from the New Year celebrations, there is still time to reflect on the past in order to prepare for the future. Looking back, think about how your dadding helped your kids be all they can be. The questions I ask myself are, did I present a good example of what a good man is,  not only to my kids but to all the children I came into contact with? Did I take charge of situations emotionally to prevent them from spiraling down into fights and family discord?  Was I a man for others or only for myself?

I don’t think it is worthwhile to feel guilt if the answer is “yes” to any of these questions. But if the answer is yes, then there is most likely a disconnect between your values and your actions, because anyone reading this blog holds being a good dad as a priority.

Back in the sixties, a very smart guy, Dr. Milton Rokeach, an acclaimed psychologist proved the fact that if we see that our actions are out of line with our values, we will change our actions to be consistent with our values.

I hope you see yourself as a good person and a good dad. Whenever you come across something that you are doing that is inconsistent with that notion, stop and think about how what you are doing goes against what you value. You will find it a lot easier to change your behavior if you realize what you are doing is contrary to what you value.

There used to be a popular poster that you would see here and there that said: “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”.  Actually, each moment of our lives is a new beginning.

So let’s all recommit ourselves to the realization that better dads make for better kids and result in a better world for all.  That is what we value so let’s all bring our actions in line with our values.